Monthly Archives: October 2013
changes.
I changed the appearance theme of my blog. It’s nice. I like it. It’s a little less morose than my Vertigo theme, which I will miss. But I think I am becoming a little less morose. Funny thing happened the past two weeks…
I went to church. And I liked it. And I feel… better. Slightly optimistic, I dare say. Especially after this Sunday. The God I haven’t spoken to or acknowledged in a long, long time, spoke to me. Quickly and quietly, but I heard him. It was real. I forgot how prodigious a moment like that is.
Things are changing…
J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
“Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.”
a little faith in humanity was restored 5 minutes ago.
So I’m sitting at my desk, and this eleven year old who I’ve never met before comes up to me and asks me if I want to open this piece of paper he has folded up. Now, I love kids, especially weird ones, so I’m obviously gonna open it. And more importantly, I LOVE TALKING to kids. Like, actually listening to them and not just brushing them off like a lot of adults too. So it was a picture of this like, trippy looking Sonic the Hedgehog crossed with a Cornish Pixie from Harry Potter. There were red flames surrounded by it, too. I’m just looking at it and laughing quietly to myself. So then the conversation went like this:
Me: (chuckling) “Are you trying to scare me? What is this?”
Kid: “It’s a Sonic…”(honestly had no idea what he said after that. It sounded complex. He’s probably a mini genius or something. It was like A Sonic X5e or something.) “It’s a character from my book.”
Me: “Your book? Are you writing a book?”
Kid: “Yeah. Well actually, I’m writing three.”
Me: (genuinely impressed and perplexed) “Three?!”
Then he explains which each one is about, which again sounded so complex. And then he just walks away; like he’s glad he let me know what he’s doing at 11, and he should be. If this kid is the future, I think we may be okay. Hopefully there are others like him, brainstorming books and just being AWESOME.
“It is shocking and profoundly regrettable, but, apparently, sales of oranges are falling steadily because people can no longer be bothered to peel them. As soon as I read this, I began buying oranges more frequently and eating them with greater pleasure. Now I peel an orange very slowly, deliberately, voluptuously, above all defiantly, as a riposte to an age that demands war without casualties, public services without taxes, rights without obligations, celebrity without achievement, sex without relationship, running shoes without running, coursework without work and sweet grapes without seeds.”
– From “The Age of Absurdity: Why Modern Life Makes It Hard To Be Happy” by Michael Foley
a poem I found on tumblr reminded me our relationship
Almost
You and I,
always almost.
Again and again.
I wonder if you recall the way I
couldn’t keep my eyes off you.
My head on you bare chest, bodies close.
I watched you sleep,
melting into you.
It was an almost moment,
the almost moment
that started it all.
We were always on the verge of almost.
Never nothing,
never something.
but never again.
-DK
proof that I have too much going on in my head
So when I log onto my wordpress dashboard and click ‘all posts,’ it tells me that I have 19 drafts.
19.
and that I have 9 posts in my trash.
I’ve started writing 19 different posts and can’t finish my thoughts enough to publish them. and if I do do something with them, it’s throw them in my virtual trash bin. Now that I think about it, I am constantly removing deleted posts from the trash bin into my drafts as well. There’s too much thinking going on in the old noggin. I start writing about one thing, which sparks an idea for another topic, save it, go start another post, and then another idea creeps in that I have to start writing about immediately, or that I must Google… so on and so forth. Then, here I am with 19 drafts.
Also, here I am avoiding studying for my GRE at all costs.
I also want to hit ‘save draft’ instead of posting this.
Pitter patter.
“When you’re a kid, they tell you it’s all… Grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that’s it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It’s so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better.”
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”
And the Princess said, “NO.”
And the Princess lived happily ever after. And traveled the World and met interesting people and learned new stuff. And she hooked up with some cute guys and nobody thought she was a slut and always put herself first.
And went to rock concerts. And no one ever told her “go make a a sandwich.”
And kept her apartment and all of her shoes and never got cheated on, period. And all her family and friends thought she was fucking cool as hell. And made tons of money & the toilet sea was always down(like it’s supposed to.)
The End.
“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”
a poem with no title 